Got to accentuate the positive!

Do you know how it feels to be thinking about someone alot during your day but not able to act or react about your situation? I have been having a hard time with this. I think about Amber constantly and really hate the position that I am in now. Everytime I see her I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. It's really hard. I only went out with her for such a short time but I really believed that God was finally going to bring a girl that would accept me for who I am and fall in love with me, because let's be honest there is a lot to love about me. I am a super great guy that absolutely loves the Lord and worshiping Him and serving Him, I am a romantic guy who has a lot of heart and I really believe I showed that, I am an athletic guy, I think that is good, I love kids, friends , furry animals and all that.

So how is it that a wonderful girl like Amber can start to fall for someone like that and then 1 week later do a total 180 degree turn, I am still baffled? I really wanted her to be the one that walked beside me and fell in love with me. Why can't I have that? It sucks. I haven't spent practically anytime with her, I have no idea what is going on in her life. Did I even make an impact in her life? Did she already forget about the loving caring awesome individual that I am? I don't know but all I do know is that this sucks.

On a more positive note, I finished the STP in one day. It took me 12 hours and 45 minutes not bad for a rookie I guess. My next big goal is to qualify for Boston, hopefully that will come when I run the Portland Marathon in October. I really am keeping a good attitude about all this although I still do go through times like right now. I say Amber tonight and it just brought a whole bunch of stuff right up in my face and man Ireally like that girl even through all this.